Comparisons

I have a problem with comparing myself to others. I do it constantly. It's a hard habit to break. I often find myself feeling inferior in one way or another. I grew up a little differently from the typical LDS family. Or at least that's what I perceive. It was a wonderful upbringing, despite some bumps and mistakes, but it wasn't the typical LDS childhood. Sometimes I feel guilty about it or weird or outcast because of it. I don't share a lot of the same ideologies as my friends. I generally keep quiet when they debate so that I don't rock the boat or bring on judgement. I went through enough of that through high school (back when I was more outspoken and fearless).

Anyways, I'm feeling a little sad tonight. Sometimes I don't recognize myself.

Washington and his apple tree

 It's a universal truth that apples taste better fresh off the tree.
Boy almighty. So delicious! Fresh, crisp, just the right amount of juice.
We went to Gordon Skagit Farms, which is about an hour north of Seattle. Of course it was raining the entire time. That didn't stop us though! It was fun to go back to Skagit Valley. It's where we got engaged back in April!
It was really wonderful to spend an afternoon with my husband. We don't get that opportunity as much as I would like!
Once we got back to Seattle, we met up with friends for dinner and desserts. I am so incredibly grateful for their love and friendship. It's difficult to fully express how much I adore these people so just believe me when I say that I love you to bits.
Thanks for the wonderful birthday. You all mean the world to me. Here's to another great year!

Isn't he adorable?!

This is the first time since we got married that I've been away from Devon for more than 12 hours. This week is gonna be a doozy.

Romanticized.

I would like to live in a cabin in the woods and go hiking or skiing every day. When I was exhausted and flush with the outdoors, I would come home to cuddle up with my man. He would make a fire and we would eat dinner on the floor, basking in it's warmth. We would read old classics to each other as the snow fell quietly outside. No city lights, no traffic at all hours of the night. Just us. Devon and Hannah.

A knot in my stomach

A client came in last night with tears in her eyes. Her husband had been in surgery for six hours the day before for a tumor in his abdomen. She was heading to the hospital right after our session. As I grounded myself for the emotion that I was about to work with, the aching thought came to me. What would it be like if my husband were to be diagnosed with some dreadful thing? How would we fight against it? What sort of nightmares would we create? I hate the thought.

I am so grateful for our blessings and for our health. I am so grateful that we have one another. He's my best friend and my perfect compliment. I love him dearly. And I hate cancer.

Like dolphins fighting

Devon is sick, his work is crazy right now, and my sewing machine is making this awful sound. But all in all, it is good. I'm wearing sweatshirts and knit socks 'round the clock. We're going apple picking this weekend for my birthday. I'll be hearing if I got accepted to PMI soon.

Oh, and I want a dog now more than ever. I miss my Fred so much. 

May he rest in peace, surrounded by bacon.

Weekend Recap

This was such a wonderful weekend. It made Monday easy!

On Fridays, I get to spend time with my beautiful best friend, Janna. Neither of us work on Fridays so we usually get together for lunch and errands. This Friday, we got ourselves a cheap and tasty lunch at the Institute where every Friday they have a "feast" for the younger folks in the area. It's fun to see everyone from the different wards and catch up. Anyways, after that we went and got our nails did. We're really good at that. Followed by Vampire Diaries. Oh man.

That night, Janna, Scott, Dev and I all piled into our car and drove to Renton. Ashlee and Jordan are house sitting out there in an amazing house, so it's fun to pretend like we have money and nice things. TV shows, pizza, 3D projectors, and cookies. Amazing.

Saturday, I worked.

Sunday, we spent the day at Janna's apartment and watched General Conference together. The spirit was so sweet and there was so much love in that room, all day long. I love hearing the words of the prophets and reflecting on how I can become more Christ-like. There was one talk that stuck out to me in particular called "First observe, then serve." I love serving those that I love, but sometimes I have a hard time knowing how or when I should step in. It's so easy to fall into the mindset of "a service must be organized and grand." I've gone to so many service activities where we are faced with daunting tasks but we tackle them anyway. You get it into your head that all service has to be like that. But it's really not the case! Service can be as simple as genuinely asking someone how their day is! I'd like to work on serving more and being more openhearted to those around me. Additionally, I want to be open to being served. Letting people serve you gives them just as many blessings. It's a beautiful thing, really. Our God is a great and loving God. I am so grateful that I can be a part of the LDS faith and know of his love for all of us.

I'm sorry if this was rambly or boring. I'm feeling very blessed and I wanted to remember all of the sweet things that are in my life right now. Speaking of which, Dev just handed me a slice of his fresh-from-the-oven bread! Our FHE's are the best.