Sunset Run to Drums -- 10K

I'm a pretty avid runner and have been for the past seven years. All through high school I raced in track and cross country. I love the feeling of the wind blowing past me and the unleashing of my legs. Once you hit that groove, nothing can touch you.

It's been over two years since I last raced. And that race wasn't much; just a small 5K fun run in my home town. So a few weeks before the wedding, I decided I needed to sign up for a race. The Sunset Run to Drums was sheer perfection. It was a smaller race, so there wasn't the pressure of a huge crowd, and it was right along the Seattle waterfront. Gorgeous.

The least embarrassing shot I could find.

All in all, I'm really happy with my time -- 63 minutes! I haven't run 6+ miles at a time since last fall! It definitely served as a great motivation and I hope to continue, adding more and more miles. Next up: a half-marathon! Not sure when or where yet. Maybe it will just be me and the open road. Whatever it may be, I have no intention to stop.

Falling for the end of summer

The weekend always goes by much too fast. I am so glad that I don't have to work Friday nights any more. Devon and I haven't had Friday nights together for a very long time. So this Friday was the first day of fall, aka the best time of the year. I forced Devon to go buy a giant can of pumpkin with me so that we could make cookies for our neighbors. I haven't done much baking in our new apartment so I was having lots of fun. One thing though: any idea why all of our flour and sugar is clumping? Humidity? Wrong kind of storage? It's really annoying and I'm not a fan.

Anyway. It was a nice Friday night. I love baking and I love my husband.

Saturday after I got off work, we made our way to the Puyallup Fair to spend an evening with Jojo and Ashlee, our favorite married couple. Some old friends of Ashlee's were also there and it was fun getting to know them. We were all loaded on fried food, milk shakes, lemonade and cotton candy as we saw the sights, pet some animals, and rode some rides. It was real fun. I don't think people understand how excited I get about rides. I was a giggling fit. I just wish there weren't lines. Blah! First world problems.

And of course, Sunday was wonderful. Next week we're having a special stake conference where they'll be rearranging the wards. I'm excited to get settled into a new ward.

A wonderful weekend, indeed. And now it's back to work.

My head is an animal

There are so many things inside that I haven't put a voice to. Maybe I'm scared. In a lot of ways I feel inept at a lot of things. I wish I could be eloquent and opinionated and thoughtful. Word vomit. It's all over your new shoes...

Truth is, I'm tired of politics. I hate the two-party system and I don't foresee any real change happening with either candidate. It's a gridlock and to see people constantly arguing about who is better just drives that point home.

Truth is, I'm furious at myself for letting myself be 30 pounds heavier than I should be. For the past three years, and for reasons that I have not reached yet, I've battled with a binge-eating disorder. I've done the spectrum of eating too much and eating too little. I've dragged my body through hell. And now here I am, fighting these mental demons that tell me that I will never get better and I might as well enjoy that donut. Battling myself is one of the toughest things I have ever done. It has led to depression, stress-fractures, low self-esteem, acne, nightmares, and a whole slew of other symptoms. I am furious.

Truth is, my job drives me crazy sometimes. I need the bookings. They aren't always happening. At the same time, I'm grateful for the slow days. It fuels my laziness. And that makes me feel like an awful person. I am so excited and so scared for my next career endeavor. I want to work 40 hour weeks. I want to feel like I accomplished something.

Truth is, there's a lot more on my mind. But now I've made myself sad.

Really, I'm just a 14 year old girl.

For the past couple of years, I've maintained a Tumblr for my personal ramblings. I think I'm going to slowly ween myself off of it though and post here most often. I'll continue to give updates on how Devon and I are doing, but I would also like a space to put other thoughts. Be warned: I can be melodramatic, cryptic, and obnoxious. It's just how I do.

Post-wedding nightmares

Before the wedding, I was consistently having these horrible nightmares that would keep me from sleeping. I would lie awake in bed exhausted and stressed. I think I was averaging 4-5 hours of sleep a night! Thankfully, those dreams have now disappeared.

Except last night I had kind of a crazy almost-nightmare. I just have to share.

I'm alone in San Francisco and assigned with the task of finding my way back to the hotel. None of the buses or trains that pass are the one that I think I'm looking for. I get on one anyway and ride a block. "I'll just walk there. That will be easier," I think to myself. But something tells me that isn't a good idea.

Suddenly, I'm in Monterey with a group of girls that I don't know and my best friend, Janna. We're about to embark on a tour of an abandoned factory on Cannery Row. As we step into the building, we are pushed into single file. The hall is narrow and dark. There are pipes lining the walls, with spider webs connecting them. The ground is dirt. The dust makes you cough. We're given the impression that only children worked here, and not many survived to tell the story.

Once we make it through the tour, we're left in a room with four or five dentist chairs. This is where we will stay the night. Each of us are covered in filth. I somehow have a toothbrush, but no toothpaste. We try to settle down to sleep. Janna cries beside me until my old piano student comes into the room and tells us that there's a surprise and we need to follow her. We step through a door and find ourselves in a room full of our friends. And then we get a lecture on physics and the genius of Da Vinci.

...

I had a physics nightmare, y'all. He wouldn't stop!

Introducing Mr. and Mrs.

The pictures are here! 

It was such an incredible day. Such an incredible week! I am still blown away by all of the love and support from everyone. It all went by much too quickly.

Family and friends began to arrive on Wednesday. We spent the days leading up to the wedding finishing final touches, relaxing, and catching up. Friday night got things rolling with a beautiful rehearsal dinner at BluWater Bistro--Greenlake. It was such a blessing to be able to enjoy some time with the whole family and bridal party. 

While I love Devon a whole lot, these guys had my heart first.

After the dinner, we ventured across the street to the lake. It was right as the sun was setting, the moon was out, and the air was cool. Every couple was given a balloon to send well-wishes for us to the heavens. I think I started crying in the first 2 minutes. Yet another sweet and tender moment!

Ugh. This little guy is now my nephew. What a cutie!

 Saturday morning, I was up at 6am to start getting ready. Me, the bridesmaids, and my awesome hairdresser Tessa all stayed at Lauren and Janna's apartment so we wouldn't have to fuss with commuting. While Tessa worked on my hair, Nichelle attacked my face and made me flinch with the mascara. No big deal. They had me all prettied up in no time and before I knew it, I was headed out the door and on my way to the temple with Brent, Devon and my mom.

The ceremony was absolutely perfect. I cannot even begin to describe how incredible it was to share the alter with Devon as we were sealed together forever. It is such a blessing to know that Devon will be by my side for eternity. He lifts me up when I am down and strengthens me through my trials. I am amazed by his goodness each and every day.

Victory kiss

My handsome brothers

These girls shaped me into who I am today

Devon and his groomsmen

Our new family!

We held the reception at Tutta Bella -- one of our favorite pizza places. Everyone ate, laughed, and enjoyed the company. We had some old family friends come in who my parents hadn't seen for over a decade! It really flew by. I would have loved to stay longer and catch up with everyone. Regardless, it was perfect. And I got to smear frosting in Devon's beard, so not too bad!

Our friend Cassie made us this fantastic red velvet cake--
the first kind of cake Dev and I made together!

Cutie.

I feel a bit repetitive. I've never been great with words. It truly was the perfect day. I got to marry my best friend, be surrounded by my closest friends and family, and just soak in all of the love you could possibly imagine. My heart is full.